Saturday, April 29, 2006

Why will men drive around lost for hours instead of just stopping and asking for directions? P.O.’d Wife

From the evangelical outpost.

Dear POW,
When I took my vows as an advice columnist I swore to always tell the truth. So while I’ll probably get in trouble for letting you in on our secret, I have to be completely honest: We're not really directionless, we’re just pretending to be lost.

The suprising truth is that we just drive around in circles acting confused because we know how much this behavior infuriates women. Admittedly, it’s ridiculously passive-aggressive. But it’s also a lot more fun that you could imagine. When we pass the same gas station for the thirteenth time and mutter, “Well, it’s got to be around here somewhere…” we do it just to see the look on your face. That pained, frustrated expression you make when you’re trying to keep from losing your last fingerhold on sanity is priceless.

The best part of the experience, though, is when we get together with other men and compare stories about how our wife's head almost exploded while we were pretending to search for a street address. Somehow when we’re pulling this stunt we retain the ability to be completely stoical and straight faced. Yet when we share this tale with our buddies we start giggling like Japanese schoolgirls.

It's a biological fact that all men are born with innate sense of direction; we couldn’t get lost if we tried. What makes it even funnier is that we often confess to having this ability and yet no woman ever believes us! That is why we are able to pass on this lark down to our sons, and generation after generation, women fall for it every time.

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